- Parents: be yourself
- Me: -is self-
- Parents: wait no
honestly i dont care if u guys know my full name and know what town i live in like if u wanna come find me just do it if u wanna hang out then thats cool if u wanna come murder me then thats even better
do not laugh behind me because i will think you are laughing about me
Internet history won’t tell you anything, if parents really want to know what their kids are up to check their most recent emojis
anonymous compliments are really nice it’s like there’s no ulterior motive they just want you to read it and smile
Weight should be like virginity.
Once you lose it you can’t get it back
the kid that sits behind me in geometry is a really good artist and once I turned around and he was spending an extensive amount of time shading in the collarbones of the guy he was drawing, so I whispered
“careful John, your gay is showing”
and he just winked
So, apparently John has a tumblr and if he sees this I will track all of you down and rip your beating hearts from your chest one by one
Signal boost for John.
if you have a trampoline at your house there’s a 100% chance that when i’m over all i am thinking about is when can we go on the trampoline
petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’
what about alaska
are we then normal canada
canada a bit to the left
What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?
i cried my ass of laughing
i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD
NOT A SINGLE LADY CANADA
I punched a guy bc he was making rape jokes and one of the things he said was “what’s the difference between yes and no? Nothing” so I asked him if he’d care if I punched him in the face and he said yes but I did it anyway since there’s no difference between yes and no and that’s the story of how I gave someone a bloody nose
r u ever scared to walk past a group of teenagers even though you are also a teenager
REBLOG this to prove you are not a Muggle.
my reblog button fucked up and i almost had a heart attack
I did it in the first try.
OH MY GOD.
MY COMPUTER BROWSER FROZE AND I DIDN’T REALIZE IT. I COULDN’T BREATHE.
But the lack of notes truly worries me
I don’t understand schools.
If you have a broken leg you don’t have to do PE, but if you have social anxiety you’re forced to do public speaking
you are very stupid
you can get over social anxiety but you can’t get over a broken leg. speaking in front of people will only make you better at it next time but gym class will not make your leg better, it will make it worse
clearly you do not understand social anxiety
if you ever call me cute i will think about it all day
and when i go to sleep i’ll just be a little burrito of blankets
and i will whisper quietly
“they called me cute”
i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore
I’m in Disneyworld and its raining like crazy and one of the princes strutted past me and said “even in the rain I look good” omfg
unfollowers backwards is ‘srewollofnu’ which sounds like screw all of u
- me: what do you call a nun in a wheel chair?
- mum: what
- me: Virgin Mobile
- mum: go to your room
i always change my mind about everything except the password i have been using since i was 10
if any of my followers have $1500 in disposable income hmu
- teacher: e-mail me the assignment by monday. i'll need your e-mail address.
- me: email@example.com